The Fake Bump

***This post was written mid-March . Keep this in mind as you read. In addition, there are a couple more posts I've written documenting my experience during March. I will be posting new ones daily, so check back often if you'd like to hear the whole story up till now!
If you want to hear the story of how we found out, click here (the first blog in this series)

***PREEMPTIVE NOTE TO THE READER: THE PICTURES BELOW DO NOT INCLUDE MY REAL-TIME BELLY. IT'S A FAKE. IF YOU WANT TO FIND OUT HOW I MANAGED THIS GREAT FEAT, READ ON.***

Did you know that maternity stores have fake baby bumps in their dressing rooms, so you can get an idea of what a shirt/pair of pants will look like at 7 months?
I didn't, but I found out after I caved and went maternity clothes shopping. Mostly because the only pieces of clothing in my house that fit me currently are a few shirts... and that's it.
The most mind blowing part of the whole experience (which was mainly delightful with a touch of weirdness) was the big old FAKE seven month bump in the dressing room.
"Make sure you try on the pants with the seven month bump so you can know how it will feel later," the saleslady said to me as I entered the dressing room.
"Ok, yeah, I am so not ready for that," I thought to myself. But then curiosity got the best of me and I strapped it on. This (pictured below) is what she claimed I'll look like at 7 months pregnant:

the front of the (FAKE) bump...

Side view of the FAKE 7 month bump

You get the idea. I think you also get a good idea of what I'm thinking about the enormity of the fake bump  in these photos. By the way, and once again, yes-- for those of you who have not seen me lately, I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THIS YET. It is a fake bump that looks enormously real.
 "This is freaking me out a bit," I said to the saleslady, cautiously exiting the dressing room (half expecting the sheer size of the fake bump to pull me over on my face).
"Oh, you'll definitely be that big," she said matter of factly.
HA! What does she know?!? "Uhm, I don't think so," I replied.
"Ohhhh yes you will! And even bigger later!" she continued.
"So wait... Are you sure this isn't a NINE month bump??" I asked incredulously, feeling the enormity of the bump with my hands from top to bottom. I have, by the way, known a great number of pregnant women in my time. But when the fake belly is on your real belly for the first time, it just feels really bizarre and unreal.
"Ohhhhhh yes," she said, chuckling, "You'll be WAY out here (pointing to a point ridiculously far away from my current belly button) at nine."
!!!!
Good times.
Anyway, after that, I actually broke down and bought some jeans and a few tops including the one I'm wearing in the photo. I must say-- very comfortable! And the best feature of all this? They will last me all nine months and beyond because they stretch out without ruining the garment. Genius!