Sunday, June 29, 2014

Introducing: The Tiniest Planker In the World.

Well, I'm glad ONE of us is getting some consistent ab work.

Little Mini Human has taken to planking. Yep. PLANKING. In utero.

How do I know this? It's the only conclusion I can come to when just one particular section of my abdomen pushes out with enormous pressure (they say Braxton Hicks contractions involve the whole belly, which I have experienced, and this isn't the case in these situations).

If you aren't familiar with the ab exercise planking, here is a picture to educate you (this one has a few different options for the position, and from the feel of things I am pretty sure Mini has tried all of them at one point or another):

Alternatively, I guess it could be possible Mini is performing the downward dog position made famous by yoga:

What do you suppose the Mini is thinking? I have to wonder if the dancing I've done so far this pregnancy has inspired a whole fitness regime in there. After all, the journey down the birth canal (barring a c-section) must take some strong baby core strength, right? What's wrong with planning ahead a bit for the trip?

Listen to me, though, little one: There's plenty of time to plank on the outside. I will even buy you your own little baby yoga mat, whatever color you like. Just stop stretching out that little utero-apartment in there.

It kinda hurts.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

It's a Whale of a Time.

Lately, I've felt I just cannot get out of bed.
Not because I felt sick, not because I was too tired (even though I am).
It's because I'm huge.
*insert comments from various people who hear the last statement: "JUST YOU WAIT TILL MONTH 9!!! THEN YOU'LL REALLLLLLYYYY FEEL HUGE!" Yep. Thanks for the reminder.*
So back to my whale-like state, or at least feeling like I'm in a whale like state. I have now officially gained over 20 pounds since January. Maybe that doesn't sound like much to you... And to that I don't know what to say... But it feels like an enormous amount to this person (I'm pointing at myself if you can't tell).

Getting back to this morning. There are two techniques I use to get out of bed these days:
  1. Roll to my left side, let my legs fall over the side of the bed, plant feet firmly on the ground, and push myself up with my arms-- at least one of them tingly because it fell asleep sometime during the night.
  2. Lay there for awhile thinking of alternate ways to get up other than the "log roll" that is recommended to those women who do not desire any more damage to their widening abdominal wall. Get frustrated because I can't think of any. Sigh heavily, think about the times I was able to nimbly use my abs to sit up straight from a supine position. Sigh again. Finally... roll to my left side, etc etc (see #1 for the rest).
Life is strange sometimes. You deal with physical, emotional, and mental changes over the years you spend on this earth. It's what life is all about. But I never thought one of the issues I'd have is how to get out of bed every morning.
Oh, also, putting on shoes is getting to be kind of a problem. More on that in a later blog post.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Gravity, you are not my friend.

Gravity has been plotting against me lately.
I don't know if you remember an earlier blog post about dropping things more consistently-- like my fork, my bag, and my new favorite, ice cubes-- but it has increased tenfold. My hands just seem to think they have a firm hold on something... But they don't. I dropped an entire fourth of a watermelon on the floor the other week. And this morning had a close call with a dozen eggs. Thank goodness somehow I held onto those.
I am officially in my third trimester today. It's the beginning of week 28 and we could quite possibly have a baby Mini on the outside in a matter of ten weeks.
*insert breathing sounds here* HEE HEE HOOOOOO! HEE HEE HOOOOOO!
...Ok, I'm fine now.
Another way gravity is not exactly my bestie lately is getting out of a sitting position. Especially when I'm nice and snuggled down in the couch. Man, that thing is hard to get up out of! And, having to think about the "right" way to get up to not irritate my abdominal wall, I have to use my brain too. What is this, pregnancy school? Ha.
The last and final proof that gravity hates me has showed up in ballet class. I used to be a good jumper. That was one of my better skills-- I'd use my leg and core muscles to achieve that "floaty" quality at the top of a jump or leap. Yeah, that's pretty much gone. I'm happy if I get more than an inch off the ground. But at least I'm still doing it, right? Right.
It will be interesting to have my body back after Mini gets here. I'm looking forward to floating at the top of a jump, getting up off the couch in a nanosecond if I wanted to, and not dropping random fruit all over my kitchen floor.
And mojitos. Yeah... Mojitos.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

...So you better get this party started.

Apparently there's a rager going on in my uterus at all hours of the day and night. The patterns of activity inside the "party pad" as Mini likes to consider it, are fairly well established.
  • Mornings... Right when I roll over as I wake up I feel the following: Kick, kick, kick, kickety, push, KICK KICK. Fairly tame but surprising for first thing in the morning.
  • While I eat... Usually not much happening. Fairly quiet. Maybe a gentle PUSH here and there.
  • Ten minutes after I eat (especially if I have eaten any form of sweets)... Kick! Kick! Kickety pushpushpush kick KICK! So I guess Mini has a significant sweet tooth like me.
  • Random times during the day... KICK KICK kick kick. Push! Kick. I figure it's a way of letting me know the party is still going, but not in a huge way. Just maintaining the festivities.
  • Laying down for sleep at night... Kick. Kick.....Kick. KICK KICK KICK PUUUUUUUSHHHHHHH PUUSHHHHHHH PUSSHHHHH (ie, "I'm trying to break out of this place, but it seems straight out your bellybutton isn't the way. Oh well, I'll try harder"). Very active when I am ready to go to sleep. Which makes sense when you realize the party's just getting started.
  • When I wake up in the middle of the night, go to the bathroom, or even just turn over... KICK KICK KICK KIIIIIIIIIIIICK BODY SLAM KICK BODY SLAAAAAAMMMMMMMM!!! "Iiiiiiiii'm coming up SO YOU BETTA GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!" Apparently, Mini feels even just a turn over in the bed it's time to partay. With a big AY. 

Watch and listen to the Pink video to get the full effect of what happens in the party pad (a.k.a., my uterus) at 2 am, or 4 am, or 6 am (sometimes all three).

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

I Have a Soccer Ball In My Belly.

"How are you feeling?" is by far the most common question I get lately as my belly grows. And grows. And grows.
"Do you know what you're having yet?" is the second. The answer is: We are hoping for a human baby. OH, you meant the gender! We are keeping that little tidbit private until our gender-reveal shower in July!
I will answer the first question however, with two simple words: Belly Problems. My body has been changing rapidly (at least it feels rapid to me) and dramatically over the last two months. I consistently misjudge how far I stick out in the front. For example, here are the things I've run into lately-- some of which I have LITERALLY run into:

  • When Trying on an Ergo Baby Carrier: We were in Babies R Us and I noticed a big old hole out the bottom of the thick belt around my non-existent waist. I got really worried, thinking, "Isn't the baby going to fall out??" Luckily Casey, who often functions as my brain when I'm tired at the end of the day, reminded me I indeed have a significant baby belly. After I give birth that will hopefully go away. Then the Ergo will fit, and voila, baby won't fall out the bottom of the thing.

It, of course, fit Casey just fine and dandy. What's in there, you ask? A 7 pound bag of beans. I knew that would come in handy someday.

  •  When Making Food in the Kitchen: While chopping, pouring, or stirring I often find something gets in my way when scooting up close to the counter. Oh yeah. It's that inflated belly with the cuteness inside. Learning to be careful, especially when scooting at a higher speed.
  • When Expecting My Body to Feel the Same Despite the Fact My Uterus Is Now the Size of a Soccer Ball: Yes, a soccer ball. Let's just pause for a moment and think about that. Isn't it weird my insides haven't exploded all over the place already, and that the other organs are so polite as to just "scoot out of the way" for the uterus? The uterus must be some big cheese of organs for this sort of royal treatment. Of course there are issues as far as how much I can eat at once. Small meals and more often is the way to go... I've found. Also, the muscles have already gone through some major changes and stretching, which involves some (sometimes a lot of) discomfort. Did not expect that to be my number one complaint, but when you think about the physical implications of pregnancy, maybe I should have!
  • When Not Expecting to Feel Heavier: NEWS FLASH!! The belly is heavy. I know, I know, it's gonna get worse (why do people say that kind of stuff anyway? That's like saying "you just wait until you have the swine flu" to someone who has a cold). But it doesn't change the fact that it feels heavy now. I'm carrying around about 18 extra pounds total at the moment, not all of that belly. And it makes me exhausted a good amount of the time. Especially during small jumps in ballet class, which I'm still enjoying attending.

After ballet class at 25 weeks. 

So how am I feeling? In a nutshell, tired. I've found I can choose TWO major things to do during a day. That's all. I try to squeeze in three and it feels like I've run a marathon. I often look at the picture of myself as Sugar Plum Fairy up on our mantel and think, "HOW IN HOLY TARNATION DID I DO THAT?!?" So please don't be insulted if I tell you I can't make it out... I must have already been to Ikea and gone grocery shopping. Or vacuumed, and then gone out to the store to find a shirt that actually fits my huge belly.