Saturday, March 31, 2012

Day 3 of Deactivation: Sacrifice

Yesterday was Day 3 of my deactivation from FB. I have to be honest. I expected my withdrawal symptoms (feeling "lost," wanting to check it every half hour, feeling like I won't have friends anymore) to get steadily worse as the days went on. But yesterday was an amazing day.

I felt freedom. All this was gifted to me because of several very dear people in my life that showed up in a big way. I don't think they even knew I needed it. They were just being themselves and loving me, and being good friends (and husband). Being with them made me realize that even though I am not currently participating on the most social online site today, I was not going to lose my heart-saving friendships.

Instead of feeling lonely, I felt filled up. Instead of feeling the need to check on everyone's lives, I felt free.

My delicious cortado at Aviano's yesterday.

Good coffee helps too. During the conversations with my friends yesterday, I realized something in my heart has shifted. My heart has expanded with the loss of FB to reveal an empty space that is being filled with some amazing face to face, phone, and email conversations with people that I love. I was able to love them and be loved in a deeper way somehow.

My beautiful friend Rachel and I. We met during our run of PNTC'S "Oklahoma!" and have remained good friends for two years.

I saw "The Hunger Games" again last night with Casey. I am deeply struck and humbled by the self sacrifice by the two main characters, Katniss and Peeta. They are willing to lay down their very lives for the other and for their friends and family. As I experienced this beautiful story again last night, I realized, "I have friends like this." Maybe we don't have to literally lay down our lives for another. But-- I have amazing friends who have held me up and laid their hearts down to help me in sorrow, joy, and the mundane.

And, in the last few days, they have proved that they will continue to. I am blessed.


Jessica Clayton said...

I love you friend! I am so proud of you! You don't ever have to worry about losing me as a friend :D

Unknown said...

You are. The. Best.