We had our third rehearsal today for a piece I choreographed, called "Loss." I set it on myself and a guy I danced with at the ballet company. It is loosely based on the seven stages of grief and how a couple deals with a mutual loss together. I choreographed it based on a personal experience of loss that happened a couple weeks after we moved here to Colorado, which makes it a rich and difficult piece for me to work on and rehearse. I choreographed it knowing this would be the case. Processing this loss has been a long slow haul for me and I am nowhere near done, and don't expect to be in the near future.
I knew I needed to do this piece when I woke up one morning to the clock radio tuned to the classical station, hearing the sounds of a string quartet singing a slow and beautiful song (from what I heard in my heart) of grief and towards the end, hope. It gave me chills from the sheer beauty of it, and also immediately brought the memories of our loss rushing back into my conscious. I knew at that moment I needed to look up that song and use it as a way to express my story.
Working on this piece with my partner has been a really great experience already, even though it's only been three rehearsals since we started. After completing the choreography in two rehearsals (and it's seven minutes long!) we have started really feeling the cadence of the music and telling the story of the couple and how they move through grief together. I am feeling the steps become not just steps but ways to show where I was at those particular moments just weeks after the move to Denver. I can tell it will become harder emotionally the more we rehearse, but I am ready for that. I know God brought me this piece of music, and this opportunity to perform it in Boulder mid-July for just a time as this. I am so glad he is giving me the opportunity to continue processing in my own heart and to perhaps touch others who have gone through, or are going through right now, their own losses.
Here is a video of a string quartet playing the piece if you are interested-- they play it beautifully!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qrw5pE5uqzI
2 comments:
Wow, sounds intense. Definitely want to see the final result.
I love hearing you talk about this--not because I'm glad you've had to live through various kinds of losses, but because you are being so authentic about experiencing the reality of each loss in your own unique language. I wish I could come see this performance, but am hoping for a chance to watch a video!
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