Seeing, Hearing, and Feeling

Yesterday was a harder day withdrawal-wise regarding my FB deactivation. I just felt that empty space  pretty strongly and clearly. Ironically it happened to be Good Friday as well, which has a lot of personal and spiritual meaning to me. Our church hosts a service every year where there are several "stations" set up in the sanctuary that are designed to help you hear, see, and feel aspects of the historical Good Friday. It kind of reminds me of the tradition of the "Stations of the Cross."  I luckily got to experience this tradition at a monastery while living in Florence, Italy.

A sign outside the door requested we enter in silence. The sanctuary was fairly dark and there were candles on many of the stations, giving the room a kind of glow. Soft music was playing, and the projections at the front instructed us to sit and prepare ourselves spiritually to meet with Jesus in His Good Friday experience. We were to then visit the stations at our own pace. Apparently there wasn't going to be a sermon or any kind of "traditional" corporate singing or worship. Yes. This is exactly what I needed, a quiet space to reflect.

It took a while to center myself. Then I began visiting the stations one at a time. Below are the ones I visited in my own order, and my thoughts on them:

• Communion Station: Grape juice and pieces of matza crackers were layed out on cards, the cards reading, "This is my body, given for you. This is my blood, poured out for you." I did this station first. I've "practiced" communion since I was eight when I got my first communion in the Catholic Church, and it's always a pretty powerful experience for me.
• Vinegar Station: Right before Jesus died, he was handed a piece of cloth with vinegar wine on it to drink. At this station we dipped cotton balls in a bowl of vinegar and smelled it and touched it to our lips to experience the bitterness of taste, and the bitterness of his last human experience before he died. It was, in fact, very bitter and I could taste the vinegar the rest of the evening. 
• Mourning/Tearing of the Clothes Station: In Jesus' time, when people mourned they would sometimes tear their clothing in representation of their grief. At this station small pieces of  cloth were provided you could tear, hear the sound of the tearing and remember what people must have felt as they saw Jesus die. We were allowed to keep the cloth and I took it with me to the next station.
•  Pillow/Cross Station: Cushions were provided to sit on and spend some time in front of the cross, contemplating or praying. This one was especially powerful for me as I thought about what it might have been like to know Jesus back then, to love and follow him, and then see him die in front of you. Tragic.

•  Prayer Station (or as I would have called it, the "Vulnerability Station," haha): We wrote out a prayer request on a card, something we've been struggling with, and handed it to another person closeby and let them pray for you silently. This was one of my favorites. I got to pray for/be prayed for by a friend who is also on the worship team at church. Very healing.
• Sin Shredding Station: Here we wrote down things we've done we aren't proud of or things we regret. We were then instructed to place the card in the shredder and consider that God has forgiven us of those sins because of the cross. I chose to rip up my card by hand first then shred it, because I wanted to feel the destroying of my sin more personally.
• Nail and Cross Station: I did not want to visit this station. It reminds me of the action of Jesus' physical body being nailed to the cross (of course) and I don't like being the one holding the hammer. But, as it holds great spiritual significance for me, I did it despite of that. There were nails already in the cross and we were told to hammer one further in. Again, tragic. The thought of someone going through so much pain so they could be with me is overwhelming.
• Crown of Thorns Station: Real thorns were scattered on table for us to feel and touch to our skin to experience the pain of the crown of thorns he wore. Very sharp and painful. I'd never seen those sort of long thorns before and it was a really great visual and physical experience for me.
• Art Station: Paint, markers, and paper were set up to express individually what the crucifixion means to you. This was awesome. I basically drew a kind of Valentine from God. I wanted to remember what I was hearing from Jesus at that moment-- which was that he'd do anything for me, because that's how much he loves me. It looks like something a first grader would draw, but that's ok because I spend a lot of my time feeling like a first grader :).

I am so glad I went. God has a way of reminding me of what's important and where my heart needs to head, and back into his arms was exactly where I needed to go. I'm excited for Sunday when we celebrate the fact he is alive.

What are your thoughts on Good Friday?