Bella's Havin' a Baby... Vampire

Cullen family portrait

I am halfway through Bram Stoker's Dracula. What can I say, vampires are scary. My first "experience" really thinking about the blood-suckers in depth was when I read the Twilight series. The story conditioned me to think of our undead friends as mostly good-natured, deer-hunting individuals-- committed to keeping you (meaning you-- humans) safe from their unfortunate need for blood.

Reading about Count Dracula though, who (SPOILER ALERT! If you plan to read the book Dracula, skip to the next paragraph. Unless you don't care. Then, by all means, keep reading) has no problem hurting, sucking blood from, and generally ruining the eternal lives of both children and adults. He's AWFUL. Just awful. I hate the guy.

Yeah, yeah. I know. He's not real. Or IS he?

Regardless, there was a point where I was reading about the Count's devious and evil ways and thinking, "Twilight totally ruined me for this book. Vampires aren't out for my best interest. They want to suck my blood and turn me into an undead, terrible person, just like they are."

Curse you, Edward and Bella! And your little half-vampire baby too! (Oops, there goes another another spoiler alert). But I am wise to your ways now. If I hear flapping outside my window late at night, I will NOT be inviting you in to have some tea and watch Hannah Montana. Watch out. Because I'll be in the kitchen, peeling garlic cloves. And peeling. And peeling. And then peeling some more.

Because those things take forever! Ya know?