Changes come...

Third post of the day... I guess I'm feeling prolific. And introspective. Introspectively prolific, maybe?

I am struck by the amount of change in my life lately. Changes in schedule, friends, social media, career, pets, and therefore emotions. I am an "F" on the Meyer's Briggs Personality Spectrum, which means "feeler," a person who's moods and choices are more affected by his/her emotions than "thinkers." Thinkers are more rational and look at the facts to make decisions and decide how they are feeling about a situation. Sometimes I wish, deeply, that I was a "thinker." It certainly would make things easier in these periods of change.

I feel as if God has been taking me through a period where he is asking me to simply hang on to his hand and keep going. Every single day of the last couple months have felt as if they were insistent waves lapping up on a shore, every wave changing the grains of sand and the shape of the beach underneath them.

At first I tried to resist them, the waves. But after a while it just got to be too exhausting and I let go. I let go of the false "control" I thought I had over my life and (most of the time) felt myself take God's hand and trust he was going to take care of everything. I already know that surrendering to this does not mean it will be easy, or even easier than before. Most of the time it presents more challenges.

What I do know is that, as I keep walking with my little hand in his big, strong one, I can trust he will stay with me through it all. And that is all I need, even though choosing this path may mean tears and struggle. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

Because without that hand, I am lost.